"I can't see TV. I need to go to the eye doctor.". And then I learn that it is actually on her new TV, she can't see the (now) much smaller text showing the channel she is on when she changes channels. And she has had macular degeneration for years - while I'm sympathetic to how frustrating it must be, a doctor's visit can't give her 30-year-old's vision. We did go to the doctor, she did have a slight change in lenses... but she has the same complaint.
Over the last months she has had three teeth pulled because they broke off. Recently she said she needed to go to the dentist. I asked, why? She said she didn't know - but don't we need to go? No, you are good for now. You have a routine appointment in a few months.
A couple of weeks after hospice started, one day she was furious because she said she wasn't getting enough attention. (When hospice services started, she had a series of 'get to know you' visits, so suddenly she felt 'bereft' to use her word.) I asked what she needed ... 'oh, nothing, but I just am not getting enough attention!'. I reminded her that many hospice clients are gravely ill with urgent, life-sustaining medical needs, and that she is really alright and is getting all the attention that hospice committed to her.
It's not that I have a problem with helping her with real needs, or even with perceived needs (though keeping up with those needs does become challenging at times). But there is a boredom in her voice, a restlessness that she wants a doctor's visit to solve.
And then my own guilt - am I not doing enough to entertain her? I already visit almost daily - more than anyone else in her assisted living community. Oh well, brush it off. She's just tired and lonely. And it's each person's responsibility to find their own joy. We chose that facility because of the abundance of activities offered and the sense of community. If she chooses to sit in her room with her TV, it's not my responsibility to fix - nor is it an indicator for a doctor's visit.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment