Wow - I missed all of November! But I'm back... and things have quieted down for the most part.

There was the explosion in Target store - an outing with my sister and our husbands and Mom. Mom had been rude, snipey, especially to me. I just gritted my teeth over and over. Finally, in Target, she literally yelled, nastily, and I walked away. I kept trying to come back calmed down, but I then had to walk away again (she was oblivious, as the jewelry counter person was adjusting a watchband). Finally, I came back, and I told her (heatedly but controlled and quiet) that she could NOT talk to me that way. That I deserved better. That everyone was absolutely bending over backwards FOR HER, and she needed to treat others with respect and kindness, not like a spoiled child. She was shocked, and responded OK. We went back to my sister's house, and talked further. Since then, she has occasionally been snipey, but she has quickly adjusted or apologized.

She is still in her studio apartment in Assisted Living. She was offered a one-bedroom unit which has a nice view though not as ideal as her present one. She told them she would take it - then debated changing her mind. She asked for me to help with the decision, but I refused to take a stand, I just talked through the options with her.

Still, she tells my sister: "Sometimes I feel like a pawn, without any decisions of my own. Nancy is so capable and so strong willed ( I raised her?) that I can't remember that I do have an opinion, too." Fortunately, my sister understands what's happening, and doesn't buy it. Mom as victim. Mom as helpless. Hmmm not so much.

Frustrating too is this helpless role she has taken. It's particularly frustrating because she chooses to be helpless - she gives up on attempting anything that would challenge her. She won't read because "I'm blind". No, Mom, you're not blind, though you do have some challenges with your vision which could be aided by magnifiers and better lighting. But when we try to get her better magnifiers, she balks and complains. "Send it back!" Then she plays victim and helpless. Groan. Sigh. Grr.

More later.