I visited with the unit manager at Mom's assisted living facility. She assured me that they would do all they needed to for Mom's care, but that her incontinence (and occasional refusal to accept help) makes this the time that we need to move her - or else bring in someone to help her daily so she could stay there.
So, Mom's name is on the waiting list for the nursing home.
My sister mentioned the move to our mom a couple of weeks ago, and we were both giddy with amazement that she took it so well. I mentioned it again last evening before dinner, and she just then 'heard' it. Really understood. She was horrified, saddened. Shocked. She repeatedly said she doesn't believe it's that bad. We brought down the unit manager and she explained it, and mom again repeatedly said "I don't believe it" (that she refuses help with her soiled brief). Then at dinner she said they were kicking her out.
We continued the conversation after dinner, and I suggested she think about HOW she phrases it when she shares this with her friends there. Rather than saying "They're kicking me out" (which is ungenerous and untrue), she could say that she needs more care.
She is still reeling, but when I left her last night, better. I suggested she fully enjoy the 'todays' she has remaining there, not stressing about any future move, not borrowing tomorrow's anxieties (as Mt 6:33 says).
Not sure what I'll find today, but big changes ahead.
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