In the first half of January, I took a 16-day vacation with my husband to South America, and I just got back yesterday afternoon. It was wonderful and fun and a huge change-of-scenery. My sister Marilyn was in charge of being Mom's 'person' during that time, and though she lives a few hours away, I was grateful and confident that all would go great.
During that time, the hospice nurse called Marilyn to say Mom was "sitting around all day in her feces" and refusing help, and that due to odors she would need to move to a nursing home facility. Marilyn handled it great from her location, on top of a busy teaching job, but it was stressful.
And Mom said it really wasn't that bad, that the hospice nurse was over-stating the problem. She absolutely doesn't want to move from a three-room apartment to a two-person hospital room (basically).
And at Mom's present assisted-living facility, the unit manager said it wasn't urgent and that they were expecting to wait until I got back to handle it. It appears that the hospice nurse over-reacted. I wonder if it is just a matter of my mother being unable to adequately clean herself after a bowel movement - understandable with limited range of motion and poor balance. Plus, let's just say that Mom has never been a slave to cleanliness. So I'm sure the hospice nurse has a point, but I'd like to see if there are options available.
Anyway, I'll meet with them in the next couple of days to find out what's happening. Poor Marilyn, having to juggle the drama from afar. But, at some point, Mom will have to be moved, so this was either Step One of that process, or at least a dress rehearsal.