Eeyore in the 'home'

Maybe it's a curse.  Maybe mom is just our own Kansas version of Eeyore.  While my mom has had her moments of being difficult, I don't see that as her pattern right now.  Yet, things keep happening.

Last night's aide refused to help mom change her brief at bedtime.  When mom asked for help, the aide pointed at the wet brief and said, "Take that off.  Then put this on."  And walked out.  This is an aide that has a good reputation.  (The aide will be assisted to understand what should have happened.)

The night before, the aides couldn't find mom's medicines in the cart.  Inexplicable, since the day aides could find them.  The night aides couldn't. (She eventually fell asleep without the sleeping pill.)

Her sheets haven't been changed for over two and a half weeks because they do that on Shower Day, but she wasn't scheduled for a shower there since hospice comes in twice weekly. (She has now been scheduled for both a shower and sheets.) 

Mom was worried that she had offended someone (which is not completely out of the question, given her history, but is not the issue here).  And even if she had been crochety, she deserves good care.

And of course, this follows a nightmarish 5 weeks of dealing with issues at the nursing home where we had just moved her.  I kept complaining, daily, constantly, over real issues. I felt like a real kvetch.... because I was one, though fully merited.

Problems here are nowhere near as consistent nor as major nor as frustrating as in the nursing home, but things do keep happening to her! We are handling them with the facility without the least bit of rancor on either side ... and our few concerns are being well-received and handled correctly.

We had a nice, truly friendly chat with the director today.  She just shook her head, apologized, said the aide absolutely should have helped, that Mom didn't do anything wrong ... and remarked with surprise that it just seems that it keeps happening just to Mom.  A mystery.

Eeyore Roberta, with her personal rain cloud that follows her.  I'll bring an umbrella.

Tick, tock, tick tock (for two weeks...)

We got an estimated move-in date of two weeks from today, to give the previous resident a week to move out, and to give them a week to prepare the rooms.  Mom is just desperate to get out of where she is, so she can feel safe, welcomed, secure.

Every day, problems continue at her existing residence.  Today they admitted they have lost her beloved quilt. I can't even recount all the problems ... cold food, tasteless food, long wait times for call buttons, tripping hazards and safety issues, bare mattress for a half-day (when she was napping), lots of lost laundry. There is just an unending list of problems, some serious, some petty, and all chronic.

I honestly don't know how this place gets by with it.  I have complained at all levels - to individuals, to the unit nurse, to social work and nursing departments, and to the director of nursing.  I've been promised 'investigation', but have not received any further communication in response. There are still stupid errors and neglect that just keeps happening, even though they know I'm there every day and will complain.  So, I choose to not continue to complain - it is clear that their service will not improve further, and I don't want her to receive any repercussions or negative treatment in the next two weeks.

After she moves, I will have more to say, both to them and likely in some other more public forum, such as a web review.  I feel sad for residents that have no advocate, whose family just dumps them there and rarely visits.  They have no voice, no advocate, and surely suffer the same.  Or, maybe they're just used to neglect.  Sad.

But - woooo hoooooo - she will be truly in a 'home' soon.  Yes, they will make some errors, but surely not like it is now.  I am confident, I am hopeful.

Still on the fence ... leave her there or not?

We met with the director of nursing, and aired the lengthy list of issues that we had with the nursing home where she is staying. They were concerned, clearly, and promised to take steps to improve the deficits.  And, she said that Mom is not using her button to call staff needlessly or excessively, which was good to hear.

But are her promises enough?

The next day, her pants had all disappeared.  Every one.  I went down to laundry's lost and found, and went through a double-mountain of lost items, and found at least a dozen items of hers - including some that were clearly marked.

And the staff was snippy, possibly in retribution for her/our raising issues.

And the shower room was strewn with other resident's dirty towels when it was her time for hospice to come in to help her.

But, at least, for once, her oxygen was not empty.

Mom says she's getting comfortable there.  Do I leave her there, hoping that status improves, and that they 'get used to her preferences'?  Or, do we move her quickly before it becomes even more traumatic to move a second time?

And if we move her to another nursing home I've researched with an excellent reputation, will they have similar issues?  It's impossible to research all the potential problems.

I honestly don't know.